See The Beauty

I know it's ironic that I'm writing this on my phone.  I guess I could write it on paper, but the phone is so convenient.  I guess that's why I use it so much.

Convenient to look engaged elsewhere in awkward social situations and avoid talking to people.  My eyes are always glued to the screen. 

It was a typical Monday here in the Florida Keys.  I know you might think that this is a glamorous life I live, but it lost its glamor about two weeks, one sunburn, and hours of dad's boring fishing job into living here.  

I stayed up late Sunday night, snapping my friends, people I know don't actually care about me.  So, when I stumbled into class Monday morning I was completely unprepared.  But what we're a few more F's really?  What did it matter? I had two new followers on Instagram last night!  

My mom picked me up from class and had a full-blown discussion with my sister, but I didn't hear a word.   My earphones were in and I was checking an old acquaintance's story.  

" Did you hear anything I said?" My mom nudges me.  I stare at her blankly. "Yes." I lie not wanting to get in trouble again.  

She sees right through me." Ok, your taking Lucy to her dance performance tonight because your dad has to go out on the boat and I have a PTA meeting for your school."

I groan.

"Don't worry you can take your phone, just watch her performance please."

I work at a small eclectic coffeeshop as a barista, or at least I did until this afternoon.  

I bump into a man on my way in because I am liking my cousin's brother's dog-walker's post.  He spills his hot coffee all over my worn-out hoodie and I feel the heat sink into my skin.  If I were looking at her I would see my manager standing directly in front of me.

"That's the third time in two days you have run into a customer!  You confuse orders because your constantly glued to that stupid screen!  I'm sorry but I have to let you go!"

I stumble out to the worn-out picnic benches and about half a dozen tiny chickens claw about my feet searching for breadcrumbs as I sit there waiting to be picked up. Those chickens are everywhere in the Keys and they always seem like they are looking for something. My brain hurts from thinking about the chickens too much and I return to my phone and look for just the right depressing song to complain about being fired.

I begin nodding off to sleep on the picnic table, when I hear a truck horn.  I wake up and realize my boyfriend is there to pick me up.  

I climb into his old broken-down truck and I immediately turn back to my phone.  I hear a soft hum and realize later that it was his voice.  My phone is so entrancing that all I can give him is a subdued hi and hurried see ya in exchange for him going out of his way to pick me up.

A few hours later, in a different worn out hoodie, I sit on my phone in the theatre.  I plan to watch maybe part of my sister’s dance.  Suddenly I get a text from my boyfriend," You seem distant, maybe we should stop seeing each other."

I panic and forget I'm in a theatre, or that I'm supposed to be watching a dance.  My whole being so consumed with texting him and trying to keep him from breaking up with me.  I hear faint music in the distance, and at one point I hear sympathetic exclamations from the crowd, but I don't look up.

My boyfriend sends a text saying it's over and my heart cracks in half.

I walk backstage with my eyes stinging and get my sister. 

I stop to make a dramatic " He broke up with me" post and my sister runs back to pick something up.  

She raises a small orange flower over my screen and I look at her, really look at her for the first time in years.  There are tears pouring down her face.

Suddenly a swirl of emotion I had lost re-finds me.  A breeze blows through my hair and I hear a voice say," Elizabeth, look, and see the beauty of reality.  Of heartbreak, of the world, and most importantly of people."

I want to bend down and hug Lucy but realize I have no idea what's wrong.  

"What's wrong?"

"Didn't you see the dance?" She sobs.

"No, Dan broke up with me over text while you were dancing.  What happened?" I give her a side hug.  How long has it been since I've hugged someone? 

A wisp of her blond hair falls into her wet eyes. " I went to do my leap and tripped. I fell flat on my face."

Mind flashes back to the distant exclamations of pity I had heard while trying to keep a boyfriend.  

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry about your boyfriend."

We stare at each other for a moment.  It is one of those moments which defines a relationship for the long run.  

Suddenly we are crying in each other's arms and I realize why I had been so miserable here in the Keyes.  I had been just like all those chickens running around the Island, looking for something.  I had been looking for real friendship and human interaction in my phone, when people like my sister could have given it to me all along.

Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed it, it's the first short story I've every written.  It was inspired by our family vacation to the keys, and behavior I observed.   However, some of it was complete fiction.  I wanted to write something based on this photo and it just started flowing.   Anyway, thanks for reading!

You might be a performer IF...

• You avoid carbs and sweets for months so you can fit into a costume. but when tech week rolls around eat spitefully.  During tech week, you carb up and devour endless sweets.
• You have makeup in random places in your room.
• You have multiple bags you carry everywhere.
• You have bags under your eyes, CONSTANTLY.
• You love coffee.
• You have cough drops in random places.
• You don't act sick, even if you are.
• You adored makeup, but don't wear it for weeks after the show because you currently hate it.
• You start dancing in the middle of Publix.
• You're room is an organized disaster.
• You have no social life.
• You're friends ask if you're even alive.
• You get really excited about sleep.
• You spot choreography everywhere.
• When someone asks you a question you respond with one of your lines.
• You catch yourself walking around the house like your character.
• You're family has to ask you to stop singing almost everyday.
• You wear leggings or joggers everywhere.
• You have dance shoes in your purse.
• You have a thousand water bottles, but you can never seem to find one (or at least the one you wanted.)
• You keep a bunch of out of style clothes because you know that someday they will make the perfect costume.

Do you relate to anything on this list?  What would you add? Comment below!

Christmas Break-Recap

     I have been trying to think of something to write about.  I'm back in a state of perpetual exhaustion.  I guess you could say, I have writer's block.  So, I figured I would tell you about my Christmas break.

     A few days before my last exam, I went to see the Last Jedi with two of my favorite people.  We dressed up as characters from the movie.  We went at two in the afternoon, and got some strange glances, and requests for photos. 

     I finished my last day of school for the semester and climbed into my Dad's truck.  I was ecstatic over having nothing to do.  That night my best friend came over spontaneously and she helped me choose an outfit for my church's special Christmas service.

The Friday before Christmas, I sang at my city's amphitheatre for my Church's special service.

^AMAZING people^

The Saturday before Christmas, we went last minute shopping and to my best friend's house.  Christmas Eve and day were blurry because I had a cold.

Sisters on Christmas day

The week after Christmas, we went to the mall, the zoo, and planned my New Year's Eve/Sweet Sixteen party.

New Years Eve was a day I will tresure for forever.  Becuase of my crazy shedule, my October sweet sixteen was postponed to a New Year's event.  All day Saturday my family worked to clean our house and prepare for the event.  Sunday, I went to church and spent time with my brother.

Can you tell we're related?

That afternoon was full of frantic preparations. Two of my friends came over early and helped me decorate and then we got ready! I did my friend's hair and makeup which was a lot funner than getting ready by my lonesome.

 

The party was a magical success.  I loved beginning the New Year with my friends.

The next few weeks were a blurr.  One of the highlights was when some family friends got married and my brother and I spent time with friends after the wedding.

The rest of break was honestly a blurr and almost boring, except for winter Jam!  We got amazing seats right next to the center stage!

SKILLET!

KARI JOBE!

  

After Winter Jam, I was so ready to start school again!

November recap

Hello world!!!!

I know I have not been keeping up with my end of the moth recaps, but this month was AMAZING.

My month started in Virginia visiting my brother at Liberty University for family weekend, and it was one of my favorite things ever.  I got to spend two night in the girls dorms on my brothers hall and it was the most fun I've had in a long time.  These collage girls stayed up until 3:00 A.M. eating chocolate and talking about their day!

My brother's two best friends from growing up are also attending Liberty so we got to spend some time with their siblings who I've grown up with.

When I got home I threw myself right back into everything.  Rehearsals and school.

Rehearsal was stressful for a while, but I'm making new friends and it's great.  I spent a week in my normal madness, and then it was Thanksgiving break.

The last Friday of doing school before break, I stayed up till 1:00 a.m. because my big brother was coming home!  which may not have been smart because I had rehearsal all day Saturday.  At rehearsal, I got my gorgeous teacher costume!!!

That night my family hit the fair and had an absolute blast just being together.  Sunday I woke up early, for church and sang on the praise team, and then my brother took us over to our mother church's Thanksgiving lunch and that was absolutely wonderful.  Sunday night we went to see our grandparents for an early Thanksgiving with my Dad's side of the family.  Monday, my brother and I went to the beach with friends, and then I had rehearsal.  Tuesday, I worked on a class project about Macbeth and packed.  Wednesday my brother helped me record this... https://youtu.be/GnAyR36jOig

 and then we left for Jacksonville where my Mom's mother lives.  Thursday I was sick and so I took a long Thanksgiving nap.  Friday, I slept in, ate Thanksgiving leftovers, went to see Wonder(which was an AMAZING movie) with my cousins, siblings, parents, aunt, grandmother and great aunt, and that night we met up with friends in Saint Augustine for the nights of ligthts, and then we hit Cracker Barrel. 

Saturday we headed home, but stopped at some outlets, and I got an adorable shirt from Papaya.  Sunday I threw myself back into the madness.  

Here I am it's tech week for the Christmas Carol(opening TOMORROW (WHAT)!!!!!!!!), and Christmas time!


Merry Christmas!

Feeling vs Knowing

Hello friends,

My life has been insane and weird and absolutely wonderful.

As I told my friend recently," I know I'm fine I just don't feel like it."

But that's the thing, it's ok to rest in what you know and not what you feel.

Feelings are testy things that change every second.

What you know and what you feel aren't the same thing.

When I'm in rehearsal  trying to keep small children quiet in the wings or when I'm exhausted and can't sing the way I want to, or when I almost pass out on stage when I'm trying to lead worship, or when I'm  doing school and I've lost my 4.0, I have to rest in what I know.

I know that God is good and He loves me more than I can comprehend.

I know that there are beautiful things and people in this world even when I'm too busy to notice.

I know that I have an amazing, supportive group of friends who are there for me even when I've been to busy to see them.

I know that God's plan for me is perfect.

I know that my family will always be there.

I know that I am made in the image of God and through Christ I am more than a conqueror.

He's in control and I'm not.  He's already written my story.  I'm not holding the pen because God is.

The Only Solid Rock

It's been a bizarre couple of weeks for everyone.

Emotions and fears have been flying everywhere.

First there was Harvey, then Irma, then Maria, then the earthquake, and then the shooting in Las Vegas.

It's also been weird personally.  I've been stressed and buried in homework and dropping grades and the President and Founder of my drama group passed away suddenly from a major heart attack.

Monday,I was at SAT prep and everything was normal and I get in the car and my mom explains the shooting in Vegas.

That night and I got a call from my abf (acting best friend.)  She sounded serious as she told me there was something she had to tell me.  She braced me saying, "this is upsetting," and I sat  down as she told me that the founder and president of our production company, Travis, was in Heaven.  I was breath taken from shock and we sat in silence on the phone.

Thursday was my sweet sixteen and my family was truly wonderful!  That night I went to rehearsal to sing in the choir at the funeral.

Saturday morning I was sitting in the choir loft at the funeral and listening intently.  Travis was a man who left a legacy and I had to ask myself, "What kind of legacy am I making?"

This world is crazy and no when knows when they will leave it.  We have to honor God while we are here.

This morning my church's worship leader put an emphases on the solid rock we have in Jesus.  Nothing else is firm.  Nothing here is trustworthy.

Jesus is the only true safety.  Jesus is the only way to find peace in this world.  When events like these take place, all I can do is run to Jesus.  He will hold me.  He will be glorified.  The fact that the world is crazy does not change the fact that God is God.

"When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace.  In every high and stormy gale, my Anchor holds within the veil."

Evacuating Irma- A Bunny's Eye View

Those humans are strange.
They stay indoors for weeks, only coming out to feed me.
Then suddenly they run around like they've lost there minds.
They're taking everything away.
She, the one who feeds me, looks like she's about to cry.  Her hair is falling everywhere and here eyes look larger than normal.   The boy who gives me water and her are carrying everything away.
She takes my food containers.
That dog got out again and those humans have to catch him.
She scoops me out of my comfortable cage and puts me in that dog's crate for a few minutes.  As soon as I get settled she pulls me out and puts me in a tiny box.
They all sound terrified.
I feel her carrying me in the box.
She lets me out and I'm in her bedroom. It looks like every possession she ever had was out.  She wraps up her fragile treasures and puts them in a large box.  Her father knocks on the door.  She looks around the room frantically.  She grabs a few last items and puts me in the tiny box.
I feel her carrying me in the box.
I jolt and we're moving faster than I ever had before.  That dog is spasming out and those humans sound terrified.
She is concerned about me and pulls me out of the box. I take it all in.  We're in a rolling box and the whole family is crammed into it.  The boy is resting on her shoulder.  The dog wants to eat me.  The boy grabs the dog and she puts me back into the tiny box.
We roll for hours and hours stopping at random times.
Finally, she carries my box into a rolling house.
Bright lights and loud voices.
She carries me back to the rolling box.
Hours later she carries me back into the rolling house, sets me down and falls dead asleep on her pile of belongings.
We wake up and she carries me to the rolling box.  We roll for hours and hours and hours.
She pulls me out of the tiny box and I breath fresh, grassy air.  She looks dirty and so does the rest of her family.  They're all covered in that dog's hair.
She puts me back into the tiny box and we roll for hours.
The world gets dark and she puts me into the rolling house.
We wake up and she carries me outside and puts me in a large crate.
Then she disappears.
The world gets dark,she pulls me out of the crate,puts me in the tiny box, and carries me into the rolling house.
We wake up.
I sit in the crate and eat my hay and drink my water.  She pulls me out and lets me run.  She follows me.
She puts me back into the crate.
The world gets dark,she pulls me out of the crate,puts me in the tiny box, and carries me into the rolling house.
We wake up and she puts me in the tiny box and we roll for hours.
The same thing happens, tiny box, crate, tiny box... rolling for hours and hours.  Will she just pick a crate?
We roll for hours suddenly we're back in her room.  She is trying to arrange her luggage. She seems happy.
She puts me back in my comfortable cage and I go to sleep.

Little Adventures

One of the things I love about my family is our spontaneity. Over the past month my family has gone on several little adventures.

This afternoon I tried to write a blog post.  As I read my post, I realized that it was boring and only interesting to myself.  So, I left the post as a draft and gave up for the day.  I knew I had to work out, but I really did not want to climb onto the treadmill.  I asked my dad if we could go do something so all five of us climbed into the suburban and headed down to the everglades!  Things like this have been happening since the beginning of August.

We began the month having adventures in Orlando.

Relaxing by the pool at my Grandma's condo

Shopping with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins

My mom, brother, sister and I went to Disney Springs one night and had the best time.  We ate at planet Hollywood and then visited the coke factory.  There was a live show and we sat at the top of the store.  We sampled "around the world", sodas from foreign countries.




The last day at Orlando my amazing older brother took me to see Spider Man and took this picture with Thor.



Then there was a whirlwind of getting my brother ready for college.  I was babysitting my two other siblings the whole week.  Because we had been in the house all week my dad took us to the beach.

The rest of that week was full of social fun.  We went jumping at a trampoline park, had dinner at our
 ate Chick-fil-a with friends late on Wednesday night, and went to the beach with some good friends.

After my brother left, My grandma took us to a pottery shop where you paint your own piece of pottery.  She also took us to Cracker Barrel.

Then I had a crazy social week.

  Friday, I hung out with the young adults because my sweet, thoughtful friends figured I was lonely without my brother.  Tuesday, I went to the movie All Saints with my friends from youth group. Wednesday, I went to a concert at church. Thursday, I went to a farewell party for a sweet lady from my drama group. Friday, I went to Lime with my family and the gym with my mom.

Yesterday, I walked my first 5k.

Finally this evening, I took a walk in the Everglades.

Hello Sophomore

Packing up the perfect year

getting ready for the new

these pages tell so many stories

random scraps of paper that speak volumes

Mrs. Pittman's literature class was a breath of fresh air to my tired soul every weak

beautiful words and deep thoughts

Algebra equations mixed with random quotes from Hamilton, Hunchback, and Wicked

It's a big beautiful mess

Papers from a class I barely understood that forced my writing in a box

The folder supposed to contain blank notebook paper holds random doodles, a character sketch describing Eve, notes from a speech competition, and of course quotes from Hunchback, Hamilton, Wicked, and Disney

I'm sitting here packing up my perfect Freshmen year and I'm listening to the play list entitled "Hello Sophomore."  I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of Freshmen year.  Every second was perfect, but Sophomore is saying  hello.  So I'll pack my backpack and make new notebooks,  I'll read through my notes from Mrs. Pittman's class,  I'll put on my lipstick and my chic boots, I'll grab my Bible and I'll go meet Sophomore year.

Summer 2017

Late nights

New friendships

Stronger friendships

First dances

Red lipstick and blond highlights

Traveling:  Texas, South Carolina, Tennessee, Orlando

Here today, gone tomorow

Hopes, plans, dreams

Dancing like a fool

Being a princess

Finding new confidence

Excel still more

So often in our Christian walk we settle for doing good enough.   We think we're trying to please God, right? We settle for serving God, our church and our families.  We think about how we can stop  sinning.  We focus on what negative things we need to change.  Do we ever stop to think what we're doing good at and how we can keep going?

Last week I went on mission to rural Tennessee, after having gone a different missions trip to South Carolina just a week before.  I was exhausted.  I didn't feel like going on another trip.  I was not exited.  I woke up at 4:00 A.M. and pulled myself out of bed.  As I got ready I realized, " You're gonna go get on a van with some of your best friends, and you're gonna serve God, and it's gonna be great."  And that's exactly what happened!  God gave the trip such a joy and a fellowship.

We went to the middle of nowhere to serve a tiny church.  From the outside it may have looked like we weren't doing anything significant.  We painted parts of the church and cleaned.  We also put on a sports camp and block party.  Six girls came to the block party.  Doesn't seem big right?  It was huge.  The little moments are the moments that change the world.  We shared the gospel and God's love and that's huge.  The pastor's wife thanked us in tears for encouraging her church.  We changed the world.

I learned that there doesn't have to be fireworks for there to be power.  Changing the world isn't going to look huge, it's almost always going to be really really small. No one may see it, but God will.  Changing the world starts one person at a time.

I also learned that no matter how close you are to God you can always be closer.  The youth pastor who led this trip  said this quote from C.S. Lewis multiple times, "Further up, further in."  The characters in the last novel of the Narnia series had just reached Heaven and instead of saying "Yay were in heaven!"  The reaction is how can we be closer?

This should also be our reaction.  Yay!  I went on a good mission trip, but how can I keep going?  When you see God working in you don't just sit there see how you can pursue that.  Celebrating is great, but pursuing what you are celebrating is even better.

So you love God?  So you've given Him your life?  So you want to change the world for Him?  You're doing great, kid, keep going.  Further up, further in!


"Finally then Brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that just as you recived instructions from us as to how you are to walk and please God(as you actaully do walk) that you excel still more."- 1 Thesolonians 4:1

How did we get here?

I feel like I'm taking slow steps but my life is flying by me

I'm in slow motion but everything else is moving at full speed

I won't let this summer go

I'm grasping it desperately

I'm living in the moments

Laughing with you

Eating Chick-fil-a late on Wednusday night

Cherishing every second with you

I known you have to leave

But I won't think about you leaving soon, so soon

I'll be strong

I'll let you  learn to be yourself

and I'll learn to be me

When I fill your shoes, but  not completely

I'll adore every second you give me

And understand when you can't

You're ready to glide and I'm ready to start flying

We're not little kids anymore

You're an adult and I will be soon

You're a rising college Freshmen, and I'm a rising highschool sophomore

How did we get here?

Yesterday you were crying about me destroying your train tracks and Mom was spanking me

Today you're telling me to sing louder and I'm telling you to keep writing music

Late at night in the garage

You play a musical masterpiece and claim it as your own

I clap my hands in delight

Your ready to take on the world
and
 I'm ready learn how to take on the world

Summer Beauty Tips

Summer is one of the hardest times of the year as far as beauty goes.  It's an extremely social time so you want to look your best, but the heat makes you lethargic.  You're out of a regular routines so you forget about quickly doing makeup in the morning or grabbing it on the way out of the door.  You don't feel like spending hours picking through your closet to find the perfect outfit.

Shoes

Find two or three pairs of shoes that you love and will go with everything.  Keep them easily available and just throw them on.

Places to find good shoes
Rosses
Marshall's
TJ-Max

Makeup

If you don't feel like doing a ton of makeup, don't.  Do a quick natural look.  Mascara, powder, highlighter, blush, and light lip gloss.  Embrace your natural beauty.  You'll gain confidence and look naturally gorgeous.

Summer suggestions

                                                           Elf yellow color corrector.
You're out in the heat so your mascara and eyeliner will smudge slightly.  When you get back inside apply the color corrector under your eyes and brush powder over it.  No one will know your makeup ran.

                                               Cover Girl Mascara clump crusher
This mascara is literally perfection.  You can do one layer for a light, day-time look or you can layer it for a night-time event.

Maybelline New York Super Stay Matte Ink

I love this lip stain because it stays on your lip for forever, and has a matte finish.  My color is Believer. 

 

Nails

Find you're happy color.  This summer, mine is black because it matches everything and is perfect for every occasion.

Hair

Seriously just wear it natural, or braid it to get a beachy wave.  Please don't spend hours curling or straightening your hair.  Just go with a nice natural looking wave.

Jewelry

The chokers are in.  I love them because they add so much to any outfit.

Summer suggestions

This is a 5-pack that I found out of all places, Kirkland's.

I also love the ear-cuffs.  They aren't you're traditional earring but they add so mush personality.

Clothes

Have a few outfits you cycle through.  The trick is to throw an outfit together and then wear it multiple places with different people.  If you have different social settings, no one will know you're re-wearing things ;)