A summer's picnic

A warm breeze blows through your hair but it is comforting

A blue eyed baby rests contentedly on your arm

You sit by her mother and listen to the hum of young mother's conversations

You argue with a friend about the spelling of your own name

You're right and he's wrong

You eat as much food as you want and forget about other people's opinion

You sit beside your closest friend and talk

There is a freedom in your conversation

You can tell her anything

You realize that your older now

Growing dangerously near adulthood

You hold flowers close to yourself, finding strength in there beauty

You pick out the smallest ones and place them in your hair on an impulse

It's nights like these that make life worth living

That subtle joy you don't realize you're feeling

Life is beautiful, the summer is freedom, and God is good

Dream Chasing: The struggle is real

It's all gone

I have nothing left

I gave everything

Every emotion

Every dance step

All of my voice

They took it all

Where am I?

It's killing me

But I can't live without it

It's my fate

It's who I am

I am not myself without it

It invigorates me

It exhausts me

I can't find myself

Who am I?

I don't understand this chapter , this page

Because I literally left my heart on stage

I remember someone asking me in the middle of Freshmen year, "How are you enjoying drama?" I wanted to answer,"I almost don't even want to go, I'm exhausted, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing, I'm not good enough, I feel like a fool, I'm about to fall over right now from exhaustion." Sometimes chasing a dream requires mind over matter. I responded, " I have to remember I LOVE THIS, no matter what I'm feeling right now."

Sometimes dream chasing is crying for no particular reason,while at the same time having a thousand different reasons. You break down and cry because you realize this is taking more than you thought. Everyone experiences the show, but not many people experience the 20 hours a week for eight months. Nobody realizes you live, sleep , and breath this literally. It really does take blood sweat and tears.

When pursue a dream with everything in you, you realize your mortality. Your body is weak, your emotions even weaker, and your heart the weakest. You're human.

I'm not here to discourage you, I just want to be completely real. Chasing a dream isn't always fun. It certainly has it's fun moments. You really do enjoy your dream, but it also exhausts you. Chasing a dream is laughter, joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction, but it's also uncontrollable tears, sleepless nights, nervous breakdowns, and despair. The fact that it is joy and pain combined makes it valuable

Nothing worth doing is easy. Nothing that lasts is easily won. When you give yourself to something you take personal responsibility. This isn't just talk, this is yours. You've earned this. Who would want a dream that didn't belong to them ?

Quotes

"And ain't nobody want to see you down in the dumps

Because you're living your dream and this should be fun
Please know that I'm not trying to preach like I'm reverend run
I beg you don't be disappointed with the man I've become" - Ed Sheeran

"Beat up but won't be broken
Lonesome but always searching
Homesick but nobody's heading home soon
Keep on, keeping on, keeping on...
To the dreamers
Wide-eyed believers
Hanging onto hope by a thread
To the soulful
Heart open hopeful
Keep on charging ahead
'Cause, when you feel it, once you see it, and you breathe it
It's unforgettable
When you know it, once you know it, and you hold it
It's unforgettable." - For King and Country

Link 2017

I went to Texas to meet friends from my online school!!!! It was called LINK and it was held at a conference center complete with pool, blob, and gym. When I arrived, I walked into the gym and was almost immediately hugged and welcomed by people I had only met online. While the boys played basketball, we did crazy chants for no particular team with our slightly crazy teacher.

That night we hung out in the pool and chatted.

The next morning I showed up and I had a group of friends to hang out with. Its kinda crazy how quickly we all meshed.

That day we ran around the conference center and played games like Mafia, signs, and psychiatrist. We also blobbed and swam.

(The tired Cheer-leading squad)

That night we watched Tangled and made commentary through the whole thing. Then we hung out until our curfew.

The next day was field day, but sadly it was raining so it became gym day.

After that my family and I went to the Alamo.

When we finally got back to the conference center, it was time for dance practice. I didn't know what I was doing, which resulted in many laughs for my partners.

Day three I couldn't find anyone. Finally, I found one girl from my squad and we eventually found everyone else. We played psychiatrist all morning and then we ate lunch. After lunch most everyone went to play rugby but I decided to hang out in the pool with two other girls.

Then it was time to get ready for the dance! It was so much fun because all of us girls used the gym bathroom and we all did our makeup and hair together.