The first semester
I nailed the audition! The first time singing in front of a new choire director and I moved her to tears! My artistic director smiled the whole time
I show up at the church for my first high school class. A friendly girl from my dance academy runs up and hugs me. It's going to be ok. I knock my books over and a girl with a sweet smile asks, "What's your name?" I have friends it's going to be ok.
First rehearsal. Am I singing first or second soprano? Let's try first.
School. It's taking up all of my time. I never knew that school could be so exhausting.
Second rehearsal. Preliminary casting. I'm opening the show!!!!
Dance. "Would you like to try modern dancing?" I've never improved before but here goes nothing.
Third rehearsal. " We need someone to play Eve for the night." I jump out of my seat. I forget where I am. I improve and move to the music. My mind goes black and I forget myself. I come back to my senses and every one's starring at me. I get the part.
I'm at school. I'm still not talking very much but I'm slowly making friends. Ewe there's a worm. Please, please, please don't make me cut that open, Mr. Curtis! I think I might peuk.
"Do your Homework! Quick! Get ready. Throw some food into a Tupperware container. Find your dance shoes. Run out of the door! Give 110 percent at rehearsal. Fall asleep on the way home."
"Samantha, can you choreograph your own 16 count dance solo?"
I'm not resting I'm running on empty. I'm clinging to the little things in life like I'm about to loose them.
Hunchback. I fell in love with the music, the story and everything about it. I've never loved seeing a show more.
I have fallen into a perfect patter. If I do everything exactly on my schedule I will maintain good grades and excellence in performing.
I fall apart. No one should be able to keep up this pace.
Hallelujah, It's Christmas break.
"Samantha can you take a solo at the Christmas Eve service?Will you sing the soprano?" I smile, of course!
Now that I can rest my body decides to revolt and get sick.
I open my mouth at the Christmas Eve service. I feel my insides shaking. My throat is clogged. Here comes the high note. My voice cracked in front of all those people. I wanted to cry but I kept trying. If only I hadn't gotten sick.
My family and I run away. We go to the beach, we go shopping and we breath for the first time since school started.
The Second Semester
I'm strong again, I can so do this .I just needed a break of beautiful nothingness
The pattern is still there but I have a refreshed joy in it.
Drama is still hard work but now I have friends to laugh with
Keep running the same pace
"I know you're tired but don't slow down."
Hamilton becomes a part of my life. I was so helpless when I heard "You'll Be Back", that I knew I would never be satisfied with just one song. During school hours I was willing to wait for it, I couldn't listen to it during school because I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT. I'm gonna rise up by being a lot smarter by working a lot harder by being a self-starter.
My director says it's time to run and she wasn't kidding. My whole life is running just so I can make it to the next thing.
I pull myself out of bed. Do my homework. Exercise. Quickly get ready. Hop in the car. Get fast food. I basically live at rehearsal.
"Miss Harrison, Would you care to join the class? We are studying grammar you were off in lala land"
I'm sorry Mrs. Taylor I was at rehearsal till 11:pm last night and I was trying to figure out what I am going to do about my dance solo and my 30 second costume change and so many other life issues...
School becomes a means to the ends. Get it done, get it done well, get it done fast.
The show is a few weeks away.
I'm tired but I'm having a great time being busy
Then suddenly I feel my throat start to itch my voice isn't normal. It's a little cold, it's nothing keep moving, keep running, don't stop.
Messy bun and coffee are essential. Just keep doing what you'r doing.
A cough rises up in me. It's just a little cold keep moving.
Two weeks later I'm still coughing and it's heavy. It's painful but I can't be sick.
Keep running.
My mother steps in. Tells me to stop. I've been sick for three weeks.
I miss everything but rehearsals for a week.
I go to the doctor who gives me an inhaler. I've never been this sick before and this is the worst possible time to be sick.
The show is a few weeks away.
I haven't seen my bff in three weeks. I randomly show up at her house and sneak into her vlog.
I get better and fall back into my pattern.
I blink and it's my first dress tech!
I have thirty seconds to go into the stable, rip off the sling that makes me look pregnant and exit the stable carrying baby Jesus. I step out of the stable but to my dismay and Joseph's amusement, the sling is stuck on the back of my robe. Joseph kicks the sling off but we are out of character and laughing.
Opening night, here we go.
Blink and it's closing night.
I'm stunned, I'm crying, I'm a mess.
Sleep. Beautiful sleep.
Easter/ Good Friday, Samantha you're taking a duet and solo. I determine not to ruin it. What happened at Christmas is not happening again!
School. I don't want to do it, but I have to. I just want to be done.
Dance recital and exams have to happen at the same time.
I'm done! It's over and here comes summer and Sophomore year behind it.
Freshmen year was a blur but I loved every second of it. I worked my tail end off. There were moments when I didn't think I could keep going but God got me through it. I made new friendships and strengthened old ones. Freshmen year was a beautiful blur.
